Joe! Repose en Paix!

Hello, It's me again!
Hello, how are you?
The time seemed very long
Far from home I thought about you

I sailed a bit too
And I feel tired
Make me a good coffee
I have a story to tell

It was once someone,
Someone you know well
He went very far
He is lost, he is returned

Hello, It's me again!
Hello, how are you?
The time seemed very long
Far from home I thought about you

You know, I have changed a lot
I made thoughts
About you, about me, about us
Crazy thoughts, but I was crazy

You have nothing more to tell me
I'm just a memory
Perhaps not too bad
Never again I will tell you:

Hello, It's me again!
Hello, how are you?
The time seemed very long
Far from home I thought about you

Can't love you back

I can be a friend, a companion, but I can't love you back.
I can embrace you warmly, kiss you passionately, but I can't love you back.
I can take care of you tirelessly, but I can't love you back.
I can be there for you forever, but I can't love you back.
I can drown in you, dreaming of you endlessly, but I can't love you back.
I can stare at your killing eyes without a blink, but I can't love you back.
I can share all I have with you willingly, but I can't love you back.
I can spend all my time with you gladly, but I can't love you back.
I can keep listening to you eternally, but I can't love you back.
I can come with you, wherever you go, whenever you want, give you a company, but I can't love you back.

Don't look at me like that. I just can't.

I'm sorry, but I can't love you back.
...
..
.
By the way, do you love me?!

LOVE BITES
Def Leppard
(Clark/Collen/Elliott/Lange/Savage)

If you've got love in your sights
Watch out, love bites
When you make love, do you look in the mirror?
Who do you think of?
Does he look like me?
Do you tell lies?
And say that it's forever?
Do you think twice, or just touch 'n' see?
Ooh babe
Ooh yeah
When you're alone, do you let go?
Are you wild 'n' willin' or is it just for show?
Ooh c'mon
I don't wanna touch you too much baby
'Cos making love to you might drive me crazy
I know you think that love is the way you make it
So I don't wanna be there when you decide to break it
No!
(Love bites, love bleeds)
It's bringin' me to my knees
(Love lives, love dies)
It's no surprise
(Love begs, love pleads)
It's what I need
When I'm with you are you somewhere else?
Am I gettin' thru or do you please yourself?
When you wake up will you walk out?
It can't be love if you throw it about
Ooh babe
I don't wanna touch you too much baby
'Cos making love to you might drive me crazy
Oh
(Love bites, love bleeds)
It's bringin' me to my knees
(Love lives, love dies)
It's no surprise
(Love begs, love pleads)
It's what I need
Ooh yeah
I don't wanna touch you too much baby
'Cos making love to you might drive me crazy
I know you think that love is the way you make it
So I don't wanna be there when you decide to break it
No!
(Love bites, love bleeds)
It's bringin' me to my knees
(Love lives, love dies)
(Love bites, love bleeds)
It's bringin' me to my knees
(Love lives, love dies)
It's no surprise
(Love begs, love pleads)
It's what I need
If you've got love in your sights
Watch out, love bites
Yes it does
It will be hell

Again

Again you came, but didn't say hi.
Again you came, but didn't talk.
Again you came, but you didn't share.
Again you came, but you didn't smile.
Again you came, but you didn't kiss.
Again, you came, but you didn't stay.

Again you left, but you didn't say goodbye.


I wish you could have said hi to me,
I wish you could have talked to me,
I wish you could have shared with me,
I wish you could have smiled at me,
I wish you could have kissed me,
I wish you could have stayed with me,

But, I'm happy you didn't say goodbye to me.

Do you care about me?

My mom cares about me.
My dad cares about me.
My friends care about me.
My boss cares about me.
My neighbors care about me.
My sister, my brother, my relatives care about me.

Maybe even God cares about me...
who knows?! Maybe all the prophets, maybe even Jesus, maybe all the angles in the sky, maybe all the flowers on the earth, all the birds on the trees.
Maybe everyone and everything cares about me!

But even if that's true, it ain't enough for me.
I want U to care about me.

DO YOU?

U don't know me but U judge me

Hey you, you judge!
Am I in trial? where is this place? Are you judging me?

Hey you, you perfect!
Am I in Utopia? what are you doing? Are you spotting my mistakes?

Hey you, you cruel.
I'm already in pain. Can't you be a relief? Are you torturing me?

Hey you, you cold.
I'm already lonely. Can't you be a friend? Are you teasing me?

Hey you, you Socrates.
You know everything? Can't you see your ignorance? Are you blind?

Hey you, you heart-breaker.
You happy now? Can't you stop your bitter words? Are you heartless?

At least you could say you didn't mean it.
Say something before it's too late.
A kiss ain't enough this time.

...
..
.

I'm hurt.
Are you gonna fix me?
I'm waiting...

Farewell to Frankenstein

In the aftermath of long years of catastrophic acceptance of conventional reality, what is left to represent me as a vulnerable being is a shadow of piece of mind, infested massively with cruel genes of persuasion.
and in these days I'm just wondering if there is any "me" left to fall back on and optimistically hoping for a piece of survived "my self being" to resort to.
Yes, I think I'm in the existential process of recognizing what is mine and what is not.
However, to be honest this sounds so self-contradictory when the examiner and examinee are of one kind and actually one "thing", me.

Intuition is waning and a progressive zeal for inference is growing.
no more appeal for praying,
no more enthusiasm in worshiping,
and no more room for the illusion of "received truth."
Recourse to "non-existences" is forbidden.
Tradition has come to a halt and nonsense practices are arrested and buried one by one.
Comets are not tricks of reflected sunlight anymore,
and compasses won't obey magnetic fields any longer.

I broke my pact with habit and I wont capitulate.
I'm Galileo standing before the Inquisition and ready for any injunction.
I'm floating in myself being, dancing liberally and flourishing joyfully.
I wont cease thinking!
I stopped myself to be taught some thoughts, but started to think and to owe some thoughts.
I am turning back to my childhood, to wonder and to enquire but this time I won't let U easily satisfy me. I want to be a thinker neither a dabbler nor a mere practitioner.

I'm gonna challenge U, analyze you and maybe paralyze you if necessary.
no more space for minced words.
I'm a monster turning against U, my very creator, not to intentionally destroy U but to elucidate your being and to redefine our relationship.
I will question u not only where I came from but also where U came from.

Just promise me If I was wrong all the way to U, then U will embrace me like always once again, and forgive me as a regretful penitent, then I will cling to U forever.
and if I was right, then "U" are redundant and I will immediately eradicate "U" from my vocabulary. I will, believe me!

...

..

.

are you ready?

Pass Me By

All I asked was love
All I’m looking for now is someone to replace you
All I have found so far is you again, intensely, replacing everyone
Can you at least, pass me by, not replacing me
How hard you are to be forgotten?

Narcissism

The game is love, the name is u
Can I pick up another name?
How about I

U and I in Afterlife

According to your religion, you guys will go to heaven and the rest including me go to hell when die
According to mine you guys will go to hell not us
You know what sucks, no matter how hard we try to behave well and to be virtuous and moral, we cant be together after death-if there is any afterlife-because for sure, one of us will go to hell whilst the other one is in heaven
yeah, the very fact is that we can not be together even in hell?!!!


lets seize all these tiny moments
lets save all

You,
Never mind, already forgot.
My self being,
Never mind, already lost.
God,
Please get serious!

S

I’m already cracked please just don’t break me into pieces.

Many Many Thanks to U

Environment, brutally, convinced me believe in religion, prevented me to ask questions.
Religion, deliberately, persuaded me to worship god, deprived me of making relationship with him and U, generously, let me love U and passionately kept me away from knowing U.
I am only content with the last one.
So,
many grievance to environment and religion and many many thanks to U.

Our Lovely Gap, Our Lovely Relationship

There is a gap between U and I
There is relationship between U and I fills the gap

If U and I reach the centre of each other’s being, then the gap disappears and the relationship fades away
So let the gap exist,

Let’s not kill the gap
Let’s not break the relationship
Let’s remain U and I

Let's avoid togetherness but breath together in our aloneness
Let's reinforce the relationship

Let's mature

What a lovely gap
What a lovely relationship
What a beloved

G O D

God is a network
People are the nodes
Persuasion is the links
The more you persuade yourself or let others persuade you the stabler and stronger are the links and the more viable is the network

God is a Black-Box
People are the Painters
Persuasion is the only available paint
The more skilled are the painters and the opaquer is the paint the blacker is the box

God is a never ending episode
People are the players and audiences
Coaxing is the play
Life is the stage
The better you play the more fascinating is the episode

God is an irreproducible product
Life is the market
Religions are the brands
People are sellers, buyers, distributors, marketers and deliverers

God is an experiment with pre-expected results
Life is the laboratory
People are the researchers

God is an excuse when there is no rational proof
and is the unquestionable answer when the question is wrong
God is an original mistake
God is an irreplaceable need
God is a fancy superstition
God is an anecdotal evidence
God is forgotten as long as everything's ok
God is an “out-there” thing
God is an undeniable hero
God is a consensus when disagreement is forbidden
God is the favorite choice when there is no other
God is cold, God is hard
God is everything when everything else lacks
God stands for Given Ordinary Delusion

Sorry if I am clarifying you ,purifying my mind and simplifying life
Sorry If I am used by words but no more abuse of silence

Anyway, don't worry God, I believe in U, I have to in this worrisome life.

Hey god don't be happy!
Because I always call for you just at the LAST moment of hope.
And don't be upset either!
Because you are the first and only reason that keeps me believing in HOPE.

I have to simplify…
I can't believe in life when it sucks.
I can't believe in god when he's always far.
I can't believe in love when I can't find any.
I can't believe in faith when its not mine.
Damn!
I just cant lay down and die.

Who am I?

I shall define myself as a skeptic victim who is struggling to prove the existence and subsequently to justify superiority of god in order to survive in this so-called Great World and as an optimistic self-lover who needs to be loved by U.
So If I have to simplify it I would say I am a crack!


...
..
.
Who r U?

If U are all my question, so what is the answer?

I am still me

I am still groping in the same darkness.
I am still knocking on the same door.
I am still asking the same questions.
I am still searching for the same purpose.
I am still breaking the same heart.
I am still repeating the same mistakes.
I am still suffering from the same pain.
I am still having the same dreams.
I am still worshiping the same god.
I am still burning in the same flames.
I am still walking on the same edge.
I am still burying the same hopes.
I am still listening to the same songs.
I am still hunted by the same memories.
I am still breaking into same pieces.
I am still regretting the same lost.
I am still fading away.
I am still losing my life.

I am still loving u
R u still the same?

c H a n G e

Hey, u r so formulated, I don’t like u this way, can u change plz?

My-Not-Only-One

Remember!
I cant love U more and I cant hate U less.
So U r neither the best nor the worst.
listen!
U know we r nothing.
So dont overestimate us.
...
..
.

and the last thing!

U r not the my-only-one,

so dont be a dreamer.

Agony

Dear U
don't u want to look back, find me dying ,burning ash to ash and fading dust to dust .
cant u see the broken me?
u disappeared without a trace. r u punish me with dreaming...Have u ever dream of losing.
I whisper your name But u can't hear me.Don't leave me here.
Just lend me your hand and u will know how much I need U and how much u grieved me when u gone. do u know how much I yearn for u?
if u want to come late just come to my grave and regret for me buried in forgotten hopes.



am I playing for nothing?!
r u pitiless...

Sincerely,
S

Hold U

Dreaming of holding the real U

Im growing and getting older and i have no complaint but i want to play some role in my growing process,
more than role of food that i eat,
more than role of water that i drink,
more than role of air that i breathe,
and more than role of u that make me write!
...
..
.
still Im fighting alone.



what if u were near me!

Welcome to Us

Im back after 4 months and 15 days and 23 hour and probably few minutes and tiny moments.
But this time I want u not just read me and pass my world by.
now I want u inside myself.
welcome to us!

Ta/esting U/Me

If I could taste what I see, I would never taste "seeing" again and If I could know how much you ask your love of me I would reject u from me.
and again I thank god because of things I can never taste.

the real taste of pennyroyal tea...
the smell of sky...
secrets,mystries,...
people,mom,dad..
U

I'm looking for you day and night
I'm looking for you with all my might
I'm looking for you and have a fight
I'm looking for you when it is so tight
I'm in a mighty tighty fight night....

who can stand it? no one
I feel strange, nothing can represent it here, I'm feeling someone beside me thinking of me caring about me, I feel him here close, as sweet as a water rolling down, as clear as a miror...

lot's of colors in me,want to outrage me...
they say let's fire inside him.
I say myself let's ignore them...
the passing colors
the passing feelings

Last Moments of hope

Struggle

Forgive Me

To You

When I help a beggar, I love myself.
When I smile at a child I love myself.
when I buy a present for a friend I love myself.
And I do all these things just because I love myself.
It's very hard to say, but when I love you it's because I love myself, even more than you and maybe better than you.
I know it's wrong and tastes bitter for you but what else should I be?
I just know I can't be a liar and can not give up with my terrible habit which is truth.
I didn't want to disappoint you, but I should tell you this sometime because it's me, my nature, my instinct, the part of I that you've accepted the whole before.
I wish I could destroy this self-love, which is stored inside me but I can't.
Frankly,I've tried within all my power, but I couldn't.Sorry...
I hope you can understand what I mean and also can accept what you understand.

And again I am at you door, knocking on your heart waiting for the acceptance, the main key.
If you Want to complain to me, just remember I am drowned in you.

Empathy, love , self-love.



...What about you?

Infinity

If I had to lose a mile
If I had to touch feelings
I would lose my soul
The way I do
I don't have to think
I only have to do it
The results are always perfect
And that's old news
Would you like to hear my voice
sprinkled with emotion
Invented at your birth?
I can't see the end of me
My whole expanse I cannot see
I formulate infinity
Stored deep inside me

by ANATHEMA
sometimes others describe me even better than myself!

what about tomorrow?

Today, I know you somewhat, but what about tomorrow?
When everything changes everyday, including you and I, how can I be sure about discovering the real you?

…maybe, the only thing that I can talk about it for sure is that I am with you in my mind, keep thinking of you, dreaming of you, drowning in you and also be hopeful that all these things are related to love.

If you would do the same…

Again You

Without blinking, you were looking at me in the eyes, asking me something which I didn't know. You were scared and sweated a lot.
I should help you to make the fear disappear, but I couldn't. I didn't know how to help you kill the fear which had frightened you.
I gave you a glass of water to drink, then tried to dry your sweated face, but it seemed it couldn't help you a lot.
You were still looking at me and in a silent voice, begging me with your tearful eyes. I could see my face in your gorgeous eyeballs fading into the tears. I came closer to talk with you, to ask about the reason, about the fear, but you didn't speak a word.
I could hear every breath of you, every beating of your heart. It felt like I have a sparrow in my hands, feeling the beating of his heart, want to let him fly but I can't.
It seemed that everything was moving, but not us, time was standing in front of my eyes teasing me.I was haunted with your innocence look. The world was falling me, I was ashamed of myself, ashamed of my weakness.
Brightness began to fade out from your eyes. You were losing your hope to me, to your lover, but told me nothing, maybe wanted me to find it alone. I was fading too, losing my strength.
Finally I decided to tell you about my weakness in helping you, but before I could say anything, you began to cry.
I couldn't bear it anymore.
with tears in my eyes, I tried to make you calm, to embrace you sensitively, to suffer the pain together.
But exactly at the moment my hands touched your shoulders you said in a calm voice "you eased my pain".
I felt myself drowing in you because I felt your pain with my all.
Then you continued with a dazzling smile"that was all I wanted form you, drowning in each others ".

Now the sparrow is flying...

The whole you

Hey! Friend, I've accepted you, the "whole you", not part of you. I like you as you are, not bigger than you, neither less than you, just because I see you lovely with all your goodness and badness.
So welcome to my heart! 

The Passing Feelings

A few hours ago and just in a space of a few seconds, all my feelings changed from boredom to joyfulness and it was because of some good news came to me surprisingly.
However, I don't know how feelings can change so fast and therefore how much does a feeling worth, but once again, I tasted moments of life, just like this sweetie girl.


Unknown Artist

What blissful moments!!!
Again and like always I don't know why, but at those moments, I conjured up this sentence, says, "A bright daybreak always happens just after a long dark night."