Hold U

Dreaming of holding the real U

Im growing and getting older and i have no complaint but i want to play some role in my growing process,
more than role of food that i eat,
more than role of water that i drink,
more than role of air that i breathe,
and more than role of u that make me write!
...
..
.
still Im fighting alone.



what if u were near me!

Welcome to Us

Im back after 4 months and 15 days and 23 hour and probably few minutes and tiny moments.
But this time I want u not just read me and pass my world by.
now I want u inside myself.
welcome to us!

Ta/esting U/Me

If I could taste what I see, I would never taste "seeing" again and If I could know how much you ask your love of me I would reject u from me.
and again I thank god because of things I can never taste.

the real taste of pennyroyal tea...
the smell of sky...
secrets,mystries,...
people,mom,dad..
U

I'm looking for you day and night
I'm looking for you with all my might
I'm looking for you and have a fight
I'm looking for you when it is so tight
I'm in a mighty tighty fight night....

who can stand it? no one
I feel strange, nothing can represent it here, I'm feeling someone beside me thinking of me caring about me, I feel him here close, as sweet as a water rolling down, as clear as a miror...

lot's of colors in me,want to outrage me...
they say let's fire inside him.
I say myself let's ignore them...
the passing colors
the passing feelings

Last Moments of hope

Struggle

Forgive Me

To You

When I help a beggar, I love myself.
When I smile at a child I love myself.
when I buy a present for a friend I love myself.
And I do all these things just because I love myself.
It's very hard to say, but when I love you it's because I love myself, even more than you and maybe better than you.
I know it's wrong and tastes bitter for you but what else should I be?
I just know I can't be a liar and can not give up with my terrible habit which is truth.
I didn't want to disappoint you, but I should tell you this sometime because it's me, my nature, my instinct, the part of I that you've accepted the whole before.
I wish I could destroy this self-love, which is stored inside me but I can't.
Frankly,I've tried within all my power, but I couldn't.Sorry...
I hope you can understand what I mean and also can accept what you understand.

And again I am at you door, knocking on your heart waiting for the acceptance, the main key.
If you Want to complain to me, just remember I am drowned in you.

Empathy, love , self-love.



...What about you?

Infinity

If I had to lose a mile
If I had to touch feelings
I would lose my soul
The way I do
I don't have to think
I only have to do it
The results are always perfect
And that's old news
Would you like to hear my voice
sprinkled with emotion
Invented at your birth?
I can't see the end of me
My whole expanse I cannot see
I formulate infinity
Stored deep inside me

by ANATHEMA
sometimes others describe me even better than myself!

what about tomorrow?

Today, I know you somewhat, but what about tomorrow?
When everything changes everyday, including you and I, how can I be sure about discovering the real you?

…maybe, the only thing that I can talk about it for sure is that I am with you in my mind, keep thinking of you, dreaming of you, drowning in you and also be hopeful that all these things are related to love.

If you would do the same…

Again You

Without blinking, you were looking at me in the eyes, asking me something which I didn't know. You were scared and sweated a lot.
I should help you to make the fear disappear, but I couldn't. I didn't know how to help you kill the fear which had frightened you.
I gave you a glass of water to drink, then tried to dry your sweated face, but it seemed it couldn't help you a lot.
You were still looking at me and in a silent voice, begging me with your tearful eyes. I could see my face in your gorgeous eyeballs fading into the tears. I came closer to talk with you, to ask about the reason, about the fear, but you didn't speak a word.
I could hear every breath of you, every beating of your heart. It felt like I have a sparrow in my hands, feeling the beating of his heart, want to let him fly but I can't.
It seemed that everything was moving, but not us, time was standing in front of my eyes teasing me.I was haunted with your innocence look. The world was falling me, I was ashamed of myself, ashamed of my weakness.
Brightness began to fade out from your eyes. You were losing your hope to me, to your lover, but told me nothing, maybe wanted me to find it alone. I was fading too, losing my strength.
Finally I decided to tell you about my weakness in helping you, but before I could say anything, you began to cry.
I couldn't bear it anymore.
with tears in my eyes, I tried to make you calm, to embrace you sensitively, to suffer the pain together.
But exactly at the moment my hands touched your shoulders you said in a calm voice "you eased my pain".
I felt myself drowing in you because I felt your pain with my all.
Then you continued with a dazzling smile"that was all I wanted form you, drowning in each others ".

Now the sparrow is flying...

The whole you

Hey! Friend, I've accepted you, the "whole you", not part of you. I like you as you are, not bigger than you, neither less than you, just because I see you lovely with all your goodness and badness.
So welcome to my heart! 

The Passing Feelings

A few hours ago and just in a space of a few seconds, all my feelings changed from boredom to joyfulness and it was because of some good news came to me surprisingly.
However, I don't know how feelings can change so fast and therefore how much does a feeling worth, but once again, I tasted moments of life, just like this sweetie girl.


Unknown Artist

What blissful moments!!!
Again and like always I don't know why, but at those moments, I conjured up this sentence, says, "A bright daybreak always happens just after a long dark night."

Drowning...

by luc dewaele

Just a few seconds, but everyday, enjoy drowning in your dreams.

We think days never end

Unknown Artist

But someday it ends and then, maybe I find out that there are only
a few friends to remember, but more to forget...

No. Twelve

I cannot remember when everything began to happen, or even when it is going to end, just know I have to play on the stage until my fate tells me rest forever.

No. Eleven

I am awesomely far, far from home, where I deserve to be.
My beloved sent me down .Then he granted me everything and said:
" I will be waiting for you".
Now He is still waiting.

No. Ten

I believe god has granted me free will because there are many things depending on my own(the great me), also believe in destiny remembering those things happen out of my control every day(the nothing me).

No. Nine

Want to change everything except ourselves, want to do the same mistakes again.

No. Eight

Sometimes I feel you close sometimes far, sometimes I love you, sometimes I forget, sometimes begging you, but always need you.

No. Seven

All the time there is a soft calm voice, whispering in my heart, "Just come to me".

No. Six

However, I'm always proud of my love for you, I cannot love you as much as I need you and I don't know is it possible to love you regardless of my endless need to you?(love for love)
I'm afraid I can, since love is a strong need itself.
So how can I run away from a day-to-day need?
Therefore, the enduring truth is that, the nothing me is in love with the great you.

No. Five

"You are supposed to live a happy, delightful, and beautiful life in a miserable, displeasing, and ugly world", he said.

No. Four

The lonely alone lonesome god needed to talk, to be heard, to be seen and this may be the whole reason for creation.

No. Three

He is always being proud of himself, giving me existence but he never asked me if I enjoy existence or not?

No. Two

I need to love him,because I'm born to need.

No. One

You can be scared of him or instead you can do love.
But , you can never be scared of him and love him at the same time.